Finding Joy in Hardship: Lessons from Moving Overseas

When my spouse’s military service brought our family overseas, I didn’t fully grasp how profoundly life would change. The move wasn’t something I had planned or chosen, but something life presented — an invitation, though not always a comfortable one, to grow in unexpected ways. I packed the essentials, said my goodbyes, and braced myself for the adventure ahead. Still, as the plane lifted off, leaving behind familiar faces and routines, I realized that no amount of preparation could truly ready me for what was to come. 

Living abroad was both exhilarating and disorienting — a leap into the unknown that would teach me more about resilience, vulnerability, and joy than I ever imagined. 

The Emotional Landscape of Change 

Transition has a way of pulling at every part of who we are. In those early months, I felt a deep mix of emotions: gratitude for the opportunity, sadness for what I had left behind, and moments of loneliness that would arrive unexpectedly — in quiet afternoons, in unfamiliar grocery aisles, in the sound of a language I didn’t yet understand. 

Change, whether it’s moving to a new country or simply entering a new life chapter, asks us to hold complexity. It’s rarely just one thing — not just exciting, not just painful. It’s both. And in that tension, there is growth. I began to see that my discomfort was not something to avoid, but something to listen to. It was reminding me that I was alive, adapting, and stretching beyond what was comfortable. 

Lessons Learned Through Challenge 

1. The Power of Vulnerability 
When you’re far from everything familiar, there’s little choice but to open up. I found myself relying on the kindness of strangers and learning to ask for help in ways I hadn’t before. Whether it was navigating new systems or sharing my story over coffee with someone I’d just met, vulnerability became a bridge to connection. It reminded me that courage often begins with admitting we don’t have all the answers. 

2. Redefining Home and Belonging 
For a long time, I associated “home” with physical places — a house, a city, a circle of people. Living abroad taught me that home can also be an inner feeling, something we carry with us. I learned to create a sense of belonging through small rituals: morning walks, familiar meals, moments of quiet reflection. Over time, I discovered that home is not a fixed point but a living, evolving experience. 

3. Finding Joy in Small Moments 
When life felt uncertain, joy sometimes seemed far away. Yet in those challenging seasons, I began to notice it most clearly in small, vivid moments: the brilliant colors of fall leaves shifting in the crisp air, a warm embrace from someone I had just met, and laughter shared with a person who didn’t speak my language. These experiences reminded me that joy doesn’t depend on perfection or familiarity — it lives in connection, in presence, in noticing what is beautiful and kind right where we are. Joy, I realized, doesn’t erase hardship. It coexists with it, offering light in the spaces between our struggles. 

4. Self-Compassion During Uncertainty 
I had to learn to treat myself gently — to allow mistakes, homesickness, and fatigue without judgment. Growth isn’t linear, and neither is healing. The therapeutic principle of self-compassion became not just something I shared with clients, but something I had to practice daily. When we can offer ourselves the same kindness we’d offer a friend, we create the space to keep moving forward, even when the path is unclear. 

The Therapist’s Perspective 

As a therapist, my own journey has deepened the empathy I bring to my work. I’ve come to see that change, whether chosen or unexpected, mirrors the process of therapy itself. We begin in uncertainty, confront discomfort, and gradually uncover new ways of being. The joy that emerges isn’t about the absence of pain — it’s about discovering meaning and connection in the midst of it. 

Life’s challenges have a way of reshaping us. They remind us that joy isn’t fragile; it’s resilient. It can coexist with loss, accompany healing, and even grow stronger in the soil of difficulty. 

Reflections for You 

If you’re navigating your own season of change, I invite you to pause and reflect: 

• What small joys have you noticed recently, even in the midst of challenge? 

• Where might uncertainty be inviting you to grow? 

• How can you offer yourself compassion today, just as you are? 

These simple reflections can become gentle anchors — reminders that joy and hardship are not opposites but companions on the same path. 

Closing Thoughts 

Moving overseas changed me in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. It stretched my sense of identity, deepened my appreciation for the present, and reminded me that joy is not something we wait to feel once life becomes easy. It’s something we can cultivate, even — and perhaps especially — when life feels hard. 

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope you can find those small moments of light that remind you of your own resilience. Joy lives there — quietly, patiently — waiting to be noticed. 

“Joy is not the absence of hardship, but the gentle presence that helps us endure it.”