Why I Work With Veterans — And What I Want Other Counselors to Know
As a veteran and a therapist, I stand at a unique crossroads. I’ve walked the path of military service — the pride, the pressure, the camaraderie, and the invisible weight many carry long after discharge. My decision to work with veterans isn’t just professional; it’s personal. It’s how I continue to serve, how I still have my comrades’ six.
Cultural Humility Over Assumptions
One of the most important things I wish other counselors understood is that military service is not one-size-fits-all. Every veteran’s experience is shaped by their branch, rank, deployment history, identity intersections (such as race, gender, or sexuality), and the era in which they served. Too often, therapists approach veterans with stereotypes about aggression, stoicism, or trauma — rather than curiosity and cultural humility.
To truly support veteran clients, counselors must drop assumptions and be willing to ask what military culture meant to this individual. And we must be emotionally courageous enough to sit with moral complexity — to explore grief, guilt, and belief systems that may challenge our own.
Discipline and Loyalty as Strengths in Therapy
Veterans and service members often bring incredible internal resources to therapy — particularly discipline and loyalty.
Discipline
Military culture reinforces structure, commitment, and a sense of mission — traits that often translate into:
Consistency in attending sessions
Dedication to therapeutic “homework”
Focus and follow-through when therapy is tied to values
That said, some clients may approach therapy like a task to “complete” or “fix.” Part of the work is helping them shift from performance to process — while honoring the forward momentum they bring.
Loyalty
Once trust is built, veterans may show a profound loyalty to the therapeutic relationship. This can look like:
A deep respect for honesty and accountability
A willingness to engage in hard conversations
An instinct to “show up” for the therapist, not as people-pleasing, but as a reflection of their integrity
This loyalty, when respected and reciprocated, becomes a powerful engine for healing — especially when past systems or relationships have left them feeling betrayed.
Challenges: Moral Injury, Emotional Armor, and Identity Loss
While trauma is often discussed, it’s not always the central issue. Many veterans struggle more with:
Moral injury — the deep pain of violating one’s own moral code or witnessing others do so
Emotional repression — a belief that vulnerability is weakness, often learned as a survival strategy
Post-service identity loss — difficulty adjusting to civilian life and redefining purpose outside the uniform
In therapy, these can show up as shame, numbness, or frustration with the “slowness” of emotional healing. Many veterans have been conditioned to suppress pain in order to function — but therapy asks them to sit with it, to explore it. That can feel counterintuitive or even dangerous at first.
Why I Do This Work
I chose this path because I know what it’s like to walk both worlds — to serve, and to heal. I’ve felt the tension between strength and softness, between duty and pain. And I’ve learned that emotional vulnerability is not the enemy — it’s where the real work begins.
I want to help veterans challenge the narrative that emotional pain is weakness. I want them to know that courage also looks like coming to therapy, sitting with discomfort, and choosing connection over silence.
Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s broken — it’s about honoring what’s human.
This work isn’t just meaningful to me — it’s sacred. Every time I sit with a veteran in therapy, I see not just a client, but a comrade. And I consider it one of the greatest honors of my life to serve again, in this way.
